CLAUD

Sunday, March 25, 2012

岁月不留人

All relationships takes 2 hands to clap. When the hands are far apart, it takes even more effort to bring them together to clap, sometimes the right hand has to initiate first, sometimes the left. But they will always meet in the center to create the sound. If the right hand is kept stationary, the left hand has to do all the work in clapping. It feels awkward and after a while, I'm pretty sure the left hand will feel tired as well.

The best claps are those in sync, where both hands work in tandem, knowing the exact placement of the palms to create the loudest of sounds.

Perhaps, we've already drifted too far to clearly hear what each other's heart is saying, or what you actually mean by the words you said - why you've said them in the manner they did. I applaud the intention, and I don't question the message. But the delivery of it simply just hurts and it was in a way melancholically ironic - that you did exactly what you were saying I did wrong. It really did felt like a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

Throughout the years, I've tried countless of times, to reach out - try to close the distance between. Every attempt leaves me underwhelmed and disappointed because as much as we are accused of not doing enough, neither are you. It has come to a point where I'm going to let go the past image that I had, because time has changed too many things to the point that I'm not sure that I know you anymore. I don't know what issues you're facing, until someone else told me. Maybe I had too high an expectation that we're still close enough to share - that whatever troubles I'll hear it firsthand and the fact that someone else had to tell me, just shows how much I don't know about you anymore.

Thanks for telling me my mistakes and shortcomings - because I'm sure that I'll be a better person at the end of it. What I'm not sure, is whether you'll be there to see it. I cry because it feels like I've just lost a friend, and I cry because I can tell from what you said, that you do not understand the person I am today.

12:44