CLAUD

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

avant garde

I need to write something to remind myself why I'm working so hard.

Ok, this is probably a very time wasting activity, since I should be writing my literature reviews or at least work on my *ahem life-course ahem* essay - of which I have no inspiration to write.

So on a happier note, I was happy that I found my inspiration. In any case, waking up at 6am makes me perky. This somehow just annulled my doubts about becoming a night person. Today was a rather eventful day. I managed to contact 2 key interviwees.

I doesn't sound like much right? It's like just '2 interviewees' only mah, what's so happy about that?

But consider, that people may not always want to be interviewed (like xiaxue) and people who want to be interviewed, may not always have the time. Furthermore, when i mean 2 key interviewees, it's really about 2 KEY interviewees.

Just use the analogy of interviewing the prime minister and senior minister personally to ask him to talk about Singapore.

Do we have things in perspective now?

I'm just learning a lot in the data collection portion of my thesis and given how it's a relatively new field of study, I think I achieved a lot in terms of being able to grapple with the whole process.

So this comes back to the point - why this title why this post?

I was coming down the escalator of the train this evening when it hit me - the reason why I'm enjoying university, enjoying learning more things, enjoying working in an obscure subdiscipline, is because I enjoy being at the forefront of things.

Knowledge is power, and power is through the dissemination of the thoughts of tomorrow. What we think today, was what people discussed yesterday. What we discuss today, becomes the future of tomorrow. It's the avant garde of thinking and thoughts that I am chasing.

Someone if one were to ask me for an idol, I pick Foucault, Harvey and Marx because their writings influenced so much of what we know today - whether you actually consciously realise it in your lives or not.

The reason why I work so hard, is because I don't want to be washed away by time - to be stuck by the thoughts of 'today' when tomorrow's today, will be better, more courageous and invigorating. I know I can learn everything in these 4 years, and they will continue to serve me well. However, while my bucket may be full, it is certainly not increasing in the capacity to hold more.

Of course, not everyone will agree with me on this issue - there are some who believe that school is not important since 'life is better lived'. Maybe personally, after my mum's stroke, I started to look for answers and instead of answers, I got a peace of mind. It's that very deep, very deep-seated kind of peace. That it's not answers that I was seeking, but a resolution - and that is more important that finding answers that can potentially upset you even more. I guess I basically realised, consciously, that I'm fortunate and there are people in journals who have real problems and who don't necessarily have options.

Sounds easy right? However, people (like me) don't necessarily admit it until something big happens.

I want to keep in touch with times and be at the forefront of thoughts. It's simply beyond reading tomorrow's newspapers, the different ways of thinking and perceiving excites me. For this reason alone, I think I shall work on my gender paper now.

HAHA!

Abrupt ending much.

18:23