CLAUD

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

psychics and problems

When people are troubled by problems that people cannot answer, they go to psychics armed with tarot cards and crystal balls. In reality, most of us DON'T do go psychics, but sometimes we expect the same from our loved ones.

A moody face, sometimes cannot be read by others. Only a privileged few, with the skills of psychics can perhaps guess at why you're feeling down.

However, there really is no 'special ability' as shows like The Mentalist and Hustle show us. It's all about pre-ampt. When we spend close times with our friends, know their problems from the start, we immediately know what that moody face means because we know the relation of the mood to the problem immediately.

As we spend less time, the less we know about the day-in-day-outs of a friend, such readings become more obscure and less accurate. Both sides sizzle and tensions rise when one blame the other for not understanding, and the other blame the opposite party for not telling. So whose fault is it really?

I think that's the wrong question to ask, rather the wrong approach to things. In such cases, I believe (of course, my belief can be entirely wrong) that friends just want to 'go back' when they want to…knowing that they can still be appreciated. Friends are looking for a 'home' to go back and to find that same realm of acceptance as before when they left. That's why class-gatherings or meet-ups bring a warmth to the heart, a kind of soul food because you know things between you and your friends will never change. It's that trust you want when you go back. When that trust is lost, things will change and people will no longer meet up.

While I understand that not most people are like me - who will shout to the entire world if my life sucks or when I need a listening ear, or when I need my 'suicide hotline' - it's difficult to reach out when we're also caught up with our own lives so much so that we sincerely forget that by thinking of a friend, we can perhaps also think about picking up our handphones and giving them a call/sms. We live in the 90s with a modern mindset.

I don't know, after that incident, I think I'll just mark the first day of my calender and just mass sms people whom I care about and ask how they are etc. It's only so much I can do as a 'psychic'.

I think the nature of friendships change from one that is active (going out all the time, meeting after school for meals etc) to one that is passive (being there as and when your friend needs help, or just being 'activated' for gatherings) after you leave school. Ultimately, people do grow up differently and meeting up is really not just about catch up, but to live through an event together so that you'll have common things to talk about next time. It's about creating common nodes where other things can connect from. We can always relive the 'mechanical pencil lead' joke and 'polar bear' pun from last christmas gathering…it's those moments that keep friendships alive, amongst other things of course.

I'm just lucky that I can spare the time to do such things. However, for the next 2 months? Who will know?

Let's just forgive each other, trust that each other will always be there for always (and i seriously mean that when i write this phrase in birthday cards ok) and move on, hopefully in the same direction.

09:43