CLAUD

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Doing Nothing

I'm starting work tomorrow, and the bad news is, I totally forgot what to bring for my first day of work. I only remembed that I need to bring my IC, and something else. My certs perhaps? That's what most employers wanna verify right?

So for the not-yet informed, I got a job as a research assistant in MCYS dealing with delinquency. Hopefully after this month, I'll be able to get a part-time job thereafter if they find my performance satisfactory. I don't exactly now what I'm going to do yet, but I'll be dealing with statistics, and the programme to manipulate stats called SPSS.

For the even more less-informed, this is totally out of my comfort zone. I've been comfortable with tuition for almost 3 years now. However, to suddenly take up this job, it puts my a foot further into the research 'industry'. Of course it's a great opportunity and I'm every inch grateful. It doesn't make it less daunting that precisely you want it so much, the expectations placed on me, and the expectations I also have for myself, are beginning to weigh in.

Suddenly, the 'what if' questions flood the mind. Then, I'll play it by ear to see what happens. =D

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I've recently been torn between 'doing nothing' and 'doing stuff'. Although doing nothing by itself is misnomer, because you can't possibly be doing at Nothing. But semantics aside, for Thursday and Friday, besides gym I really have just been at home watching videos and reading books. Then yet, I feel absolutely unproductive - like I should be meeting friends, doing 'stuff' and catch up with things I want to do since terms start. Continue writing on my little project, going out to meet more people and just basically LIVE.

In the past, I was like scolded many times by my elders that I'm "lazy" and was even caned for it as a child. Perhaps this Freudian torn between the two is something that was disciplined in me.

Yet recently, I just told myself to take it easy. Just do what I want to do at that moment and reeeeeelllllaaaaxxxxx…..

So that's what I've been doing. And I'm not ashamed to say I'm glad to have lazed around and do nothing. It's perhaps doing nothing, that I achieved the most afterall.

There's nothing wrong with laziness - as long as you are happy at the end of it.

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