I’ve learnt something from all this is that your life is never your own. I think I’ve mentioned it before, although I never truly put it down in detail. After everything that happened, I thought it’s about time to put this into writing.

When something affects you adversely, you never carry the burden yourself. It’s perhaps most confounding because although the issue is about you, but the matters do not just revolve around you. There is a multiplier effect if you will, to those who are related to you.

Like when my mum collapsed, she affected not just her own quality of life, but also her family’s and her friends. Other people feel her anguish when she no longer can, other people carry on her legacy when she no longer is able. In a way, her life is intertwined with us, and we are also intertwined in hers. She lives through our actions and the products of her deeds. People, are people's legacies.

We are never truly alone and in any one point of time, if something does happen to you, you realise that you have much more important things in life and that is the positive relationship you have with other people. There is none so precious to you than the people who care for you. Whatever that goes on, whatever that happens, you know there is always someone to lean on and you know that you are always welcomed home.

I guess, that’s why, family issues are often the most vulnerable and least talked about. In some ways, I’m assuming that it’s hard to talk about it because it hurts, and also it feels utterly utterly alone to be turned and shunned from your own family - people who are supposed to love you unconditionally.

When shit happens, I wonder if we have gotten too large, too many and this thus creates much friction which in turn requires laws, regulation to make sure everyone benefits with as little losses to individuals. If we didn’t become so large, would our problems not grow as well? Perhaps the numbers won’t, but will the type of human problems persist?

It’s not a matter of whether we are human so we care, or it is because we care, and that makes us human. However, sympathy (which I think is as important as empathy) is crucial to any actual change that can occur. I thought I lost my sympathies after so long because all the hate, anger and injustice that was channelled towards my enemies. Today, I realise that you could find yourself on the receiving end of the wrath and none the wiser.

Is there a point to all that I’m saying?

Perhaps the main point I want to make is pretty simple: keep those who love you, whom you also care, close. Because some day you never know when they will be gone or when you might really need them - emotionally or otherwise. People who don’t question your character, people who hardly judge your actions because they see your heart - those are more precious than gold.

Nat told me, for every bad person out there, there will be many other good people who care for you.

Thank you Yongquan for understanding my point of view and Elga for accommodating me when I cried (I think I really freaked you out...HAHA). Thank you Nat for being there without questioning or asking too much. Thank you Cindy for offering your shoulder...I am truly grateful...

I wish I can be as much of a friend to you all as you are friends to me. *loves*

我放重感情不是因为我脆弱， 而是明白那才是生命所需。

To Chris:

5 words: I'm always here for you.