CLAUD

Friday, November 06, 2009

Shit load of mess

What am I supposed to feel when these things come again and again? Better? Laugh it off? Hate them? Give in?

Thank god this came after my project submissions.

My relatives have taken this whole matter to court. Literally.

they have proceeded to apply to the court, stating reasons as my dad being 'unfaithful' and for 'dubious transfers of money' from my mum's bank account as basis that we're incapable of handling my mum's affairs.

Oh geez...here we go again.

in their appeal to the judge, they have written all sorts of lies. For the most salient one is this lie - that my dad didn't pay a single cent when my mum was at home. And my dad actually gave $5000 to my uncle as payment for the nurses, but this sum wasn't acknowledge by them.

Then they replied to our reply that this sum of money was actually given to my father before my uncle left for overseas to pay for the Chinese doctor. BLOODY SHIT...my dad's $5000 my uncle eat up and they didn't even acknowledge that it came from my dad's pocket?!

And in their reply to our reply, they stated all sorts of lies again. Saying that they don't know how i managed to get my mum's PIN number. Come one, it wasn't written down...and the bank can't possibly tell me, so obviously my mum tell me lah...ridiculous

I'm really confused right now - i don't understand this kind of love. It's so destructive know? Like why would you go to such an extent to question my family's integrity when all the while we've always wanted the best for her? What puzzles me even more is why go to such an extent to gain control over my mum, but yet never stating a single word to show your plans for her. It's obvious you don't want to take care of her isn't it? Then why do you want to control her money but not want to say where she sleeps at night?Are you afraid that the judge might question YOUR integrity instead - that you simply cannot admit the fact that you cannot take care of her as well as we do?

I'm upset and confused at this whole matter. I don't see how stealing a person's hp, ransacking and lifting documents from my home can count towards as ethical. Me using my mum's money to go overseas to study - i did leave the majority for her and i only thought of taking about 20%. That's not unreasonable isn't it? But to steal and ransack someone's home - actually DOING it is simply not ethical. I couldn't bring myself to do it once i realised the idea wasn't feasible.

Seriously, i don't get it whole thing. I'm more confused than hurt.

my reasoning is that they have a personal vendetta against my father for what he did last time, and it was my mum who protected my dad all this while. So now when my mum's no longer there to defend my dad, they can proceed to use my mum's name to wreck havoc with my family.

in a state of *urgh*

This is my sad wonderful life.

I don't want to ever see their faces until i can find out what the hell is going on.

They said to the judge that my dad is manipulating me. Just goes to shows how much they do not know me. Do i look like a fucking blonde to you?(no offence to blonde people: just using figure of speech)

BUT...

I don't want to be angry at them. It's not NOT worth it. Because my mum is worth it. But i don't want to be angry at them because being angry means they gain more influence over me and make myself miserable. I'm also, however, human. I have emotions (although i don't convey them well sometimes) and I'm befuddled over their actions. So tell me how i'm supposed to feel?

I want to look at the bright side and hope that everything is okay. However, ever since my mum's stroke, nothing has been going according to plan and getting ur hopes up is something that is very hard to do - considering things keep getting screwed up.

I sincerely the judge presiding over my mum's case reads my blog. Because somehow i hope he/she can see the pain my family is going through. It hurts to see my dad being hurt by them over and over again.

We can very well take care of my mum without them. They can visit her, talk to her, laugh with her - but stop making out lives difficult in the process as well....it's frustrating already.

I want to stay indifferent like how i've been when things get tough. But when it strikes so close to home - sometimes it's easier said than done. I need more time. I need more support. I'm not so proud not to ask for it.

I need help sorting this out.

23:04