CLAUD

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Wishes

I don't want to keep emphasizing bad stuff...but my mum's latest medical report just came in. The doctor signed saying that my mum is "Unlikely to recover" and that "Tracheostomy will not be removed due to copious secretions".

Medical speak for: My mum will not wake up and she'll continue breathing through her throat.

Just pass this thursday, the ENT doctor (ear nose throat) said that my mum's tracheostomy can't be removed because my mum has lost the ability to breathe deeply like normal people do. It happened when the stroke happened so *shrugs*.

It's quite sad that my mum can't recover - at least scientifically.

Who are we to say what will happen to my mum actually....i'm still not given up on a miracle.

Sadly, i'm also agnostic.

In any way...life must go on.

My mind is at rest now at least knowing where my rights stand. Speaking to my family's lawyer puts my mind greatly at ease.

My dad and I decided to talk to my eldest aunt and her husband this coming Sunday (if they are free) about the recent events and nicely tell them to back off.

Things are finally coming together for my family. I'm just glad for the many sounding boards i have who have listened to me rant, complain, cry, scream and shout over the months. I believe this experience is as tiring to me, as it is tiring to them.

Special mention goes to Chris....who never fails to bitch and scold those bastards for me. For meeting me in the dead of the night, for making sure i was okay all the time. For fulfilling my dreams of reading in starbucks till the late of night =)

To nat...who always gave me the other side of the story and for understanding. To nat's mum too...for showing me the warmth my mum would have given me. thanks auntie!

To kris and xy...for always telling me that things will be okay and for reminding me that i have the strength to go on.

To yvonne...for listening despite her very busy schedule =) i still owe loads of ppl bday gifts...hahaha thanks to yvonne's mum too...for telling me like it is.

To cat and nic...for being a great listeners and shopping buddies!

To shangyi.....for understanding and being a true friend. For having the courage to tell me things that many would not have done so. For risking my temper in doing so as well...HAHAHA

To my dad....not that he'll read this. But i think my dad has grown alot since. He's been taking charge of things and it was his idea to go confront them this time. (a good change of pace if u ask me)

To my tuition agent Aaron, who gave me so much business in the past month. Sometimes i wonder if u are one short of a miracle. =D

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In the dark of the night, when the wind turns cold, when the streets are empty.

Look within yourself, search your heart, you have everything you need to be happy.

"I do not talk to people who don't trust me. I don't work with people who judge me." - My dad.

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