CLAUD

Thursday, July 02, 2009

when times seem unsure

while reading shangyi's blog, i was seized by the gut. Somehow i can see myself in her situation, where everyone has gone on and moved across different directions while u're left behind. Or the possibility that u're moving along ahead and you have left ur friends behind.

This uncertainty brings another cheerful thought to mind. I think i would want to still feel important and relevant to them although i may be a thousand miles away. I think as we all grow up and have different jobs, there will be less in common to talk about. In addition, we may have different lifestyles altogether and may generate even more friction.

It's inevitable isn't it? Friends do drift apart after sometime. However, as a stubborn old fart, i think if both parties still have the friendship in the heart somewhere, no matter how far or how impossible, we'll still keep in touch.

I think sometimes being selfish is important. Don't think just because you feel that "oh, maybe she needs some time with her family." i think i want my friends to call me up BEFORE i fly home...it makes the homecoming easier...it makes us all feel relevant.

So Shangyi...don't feel that you're no longer relevant in our lives. I may not fully understand how you feel right now, but i think i get an idea what you mean. Wherever the case is, it is precisely because you love your friends so much, which is why you feel pain. However, that pain is a relief, as compared to a lifetime of regret for not reaching out - for not feeling so deeply for someone.

You may walk before me, or i may walk in front of you, but ultimately, we must all walk towards the same direction on paths that are at least adjacent. Perhaps we will meet again at the end. If we walk in opposite paths, then no matter how far we walk, how fast we walk to try to catch up together, we will never meet isn't it? We'll drift even further apart.

I hope to see you soon next week! I can't wait to tell you what has been going on in my life and hear what you have to share too. Everything has changed since PHS and yet some things remain constant. You're that constant in my life which i'm irrefutably NOT going to let go. You're still relevant to me in my life - more than you think, more than i want to admit.

Somehow, i once thought that friends are there to help you through a stage in life. Right now, maybe friendships are meant to be continuous constants in life. Whether they are in touch with your life, or whether we talk often on the phone...i think it's a process of renewal. The saddest thing is that it remains stagnant with unresolved issues and those unresolved issues then eat into part of our lives.

Like marraige, it's about falling in love with the person many times.

If i'm in london, i'll be sure to make appointments with my friends every week/bi-weekly just to catch up. I'm sure i need it more than them.

Anyone wanna book first?HAHAHA =D

________________________________________________________

A guess, once published, becomes a theory.

A theory, once supported, becomes a dissertation.

A dissertation, once accepted, becomes a fact.

A fact, once believed, becomes the truth.

What is the truth then, but a fact that is passed from our elders in what they see as relevant to their next generation.

Learning is but a process of filtering off what others see as unimportant.

14:03