CLAUD

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Moderated Anger

Today, my dad and I sent my mum back to TTSH for her first check up. So i woke up like 8am (i was the last to do so) to prepare for the ambulance to come. After reaching the Neuroscience clinic (NNI), we registered for my mum and not long after, my uncle came.

As usual I made myself scarce as I don't want to see his ugly beer belly and grotesque face. Hey! it's my blog, i'm entitled to make evil comments about my uncle. Meanwhile, my dad proceeded to talk to my uncle (actually, it's the other way round). I don't know what the conversation was until later my dad had lunch with me at Subway.

All I do know at that point of time is that the consulting doctor was taking a look at my mum and he was asking questions which, before i could answer, was quickly cut off by my uncle. I was fuming mad and it reached a point where i said, "Maybe the nurse should answer you, since she's been taking care of my mum day in day out." After that, my dad asked the doctor if he can admit my mum so that he can "renovated the room for my mum" but the doctor refused to bring my mum back because "there are more urgent cases who are desperately waiting for beds. We do not have grounds to admit her. We can try unless the Ear Nose Throat (ENT) doctors are willing to try to wean her off the tracchea."

Yeah...strike 1. Later i accompanied the doctor back to get my mum's prescription and told him the whole story. The doc said that he expected this would happen but sadly, there's nothing he can do about it. He also assumed that by bringing my mum home, we have given up the nursing home option. I told him that we're not and he was surprised. So i hope that meant something. At least i tried my best in persuading, but even i think that it's not fair to other patients if my mum were to be admitted also. I'm not that selfish.

Later, my father was very upset and we proceeded to the ENT clinic to check if the doctor could start weaning her off. I repeated the story to the ENT doctor and even he said that he can't admit my mum because my mum's nasal passages are swolllen shut. It's swollen shut due to my mum not moving and not standing up. In addition, her airway is so swollen that no air can come through her nose.

My outrageously idiotic uncle still ask the doctor , "if it's so swollen, then why don't just cure her." to which the doctor replied him in an outrageous saying, "it's not an infection you see, as i've said many times already, it's due to her not moving and standing up. It has nothing to do with germs or bacteria."

Then my uncle accused the doctor saying, "if that is the case, then why she can still eat (be fed through the tube)."

*cue rolls eyes*

Even my dad knows that eating and breathing have 2 different pipes. GOSH....so the doctor had to explain simple bio to my uncle while i stand there in exasperation and i actually *tsk* aloud and told him standoffishly, "that one is oesophagus la, never hear before meh?"

So later my dad and i went to grab lunch at subway at which this point, i was very upset at the fact that the ENT doc said that my mum may depend on the tracchea for the rest of her life - if not, for a very very long time because of the swelling.

My dad then told me what happened during the conversation he had with my uncle.

My uncle proposed once again to ask my dad to give him 1.6k a month so that he can rent a 3 room flat for my mum, grandma and the maid so that the latter 2 can take care of my mum. My father rejected the proposal outright and told him not to push him too far. My dad told my uncle that he has a limit and that to bring my mum out of hospital was based on 1 condition only - which is that he is paying for everything. My dad also told my uncle that this was the only reason by which i allowed my mum to come home in the first place because we both know how costly this is going to be. My father also shoot him back and pointed out to him that during the family meetings, he said that "sell car, sell house also will look after my mum". My father warned him not to turn back on his words. My uncle then said that he is a "man" and he won't go back on them. So my dad was like, "good that u know"

Later my uncle accused me of being cold hearted and not talking to my mum. When my mum's relatives come, i shut myself in the room and don't even greet them. He actually told my dad to discipline me. My father was very angry about this and told him off that

"she is my daughter, you mind your own business. You don't like me to tell your daughter what to do right? Then you don't come and tell my daughter what to do. This whole started out because of you, you know that? You talk never think and you hurt my daughter that's why she's acting like that. She has her own life now and i leave it up to her to sort out her life. She is old enough. Meanwhile, she has her own reasons for doing these things. Don't you come and tell my daughter off like that. Who love who, inside your heart you know. I don't need to tell everyone that i do this or that for Leelee (my mum)."

I cheered inside when my dad stood up for me. Really, i told my dad that if i get too emotional over my mum, i won't be able to function as a person at all. I told my dad that the only way i can concentrate on my studies is to lock my emotions away for some time. My dad agrees with me and he said that he didn't bring up my exam issues because he know that my uncle will belittle this issue. He said that my uncle won't take it into consideration so that's why when he do things, he never consider the fact that i have exams.

So yeah...that's so much i can tell for now. Because some of it is confidential and concerns my family only.

You know, sometimes i feel tired chronicling these events in my life. Like shangyi said, why record bad things in your blog?

But i don't feel ashamed or paiseh when i tell people my story. Because i know those who care for me will understand and those who find it irritating can at least learn that such people exist and sympathize later on when they meet such people themselves (i pray they never do).

In anyway, my uncle has agreed to continue with 1 pte nurse who will work from 8am-10pm. (that's 200bucks per day people, just do the math urself)

I told my dad to be prepared that my uncle may push him to hire a maid etc. My dad told me that he'll told my uncle to his words.

In my opinion, my uncle has not learnt in his 43 years that what you want, is not always what you can get. And everything that you want, comes at a hefty price. I want him to learn, by literally paying the price, to account for his decision and stop running away when a problem starts to turn against him. 讲到做到....i'll neuter him once he pulls out from this whole arrangement because he don't deserve to be a man.

19:21