CLAUD

Monday, April 13, 2009

It'll never be the same again

Maybe i sound defeated in this post...and i am. It's no longer a war i want to fight anymore. Sometimes, we all have to live and let live.

My dad is considering putting my mum at home until her condition worsens...because both my dad and i know that my mum don't have much longer and he wants to keep her in the house so that this will at least be her last place - the place that she grew a family in.

My mum's bro actually said this, that if my dad doesn't want to put my mum at home, and since he doesn't like a nursing home, he want to rent a 3-room flat to put my mum, my grandma and the nurse there. Such a selfish bastard. My dad objected outright.

At least my dad has some sense to say to take out the carpet and redo the room so my mum will have a more conducive environment to live in. He'll also hire a professional nursing aid (his friend's sis in law from philippines) to take care of my mum 24/7. It all seems like a tidy arrangement, except for the costs involved. I want her at home too...it makes me sleep better to say goodnight to my mum everynight. The only opportunity cost involved is that my house will be trampled over by relatives. But at least its my home, i have the right to throw them out anytime. HURR HURR....my grandma will be living with us too. That's something i have to put up with. It's not the best arrangement, but at least it makes us feel comfortable.

I feel better not fighting and taking the backseat. It's because in the end, it's my dad who will ultimately take care of my mum, and me, later. But right now...i cannot afford to take up that responsibility that will become my duty in the future. I told my dad to check out the cost differences before deciding.

Right now, the chinese doc is here poking needles into my arm to make her hurt so that she can move. I have don't have that kind of courage to watch. Because i'm afraid the needle will land in the doctor's and uncle's eye instead.

19:05