CLAUD

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Things must go on

I didn't have a great day. In fact, it's another one of my "worst days of my life" kind of thing. Last year, i was told that i can't go because i lack money. This year, i'm told to let go of my dream because of money.

You know, my uncle has a problem using my mum's insurance money because he feels that we would not have enough left over for my mum. Come one leh....my mum has more than enough to spare me and besides, this is within my family and the use of my family funds has -zilch- to do with him.

I'm just upset because i don't understand why he can't see that the use (and how you use it) of money is not a reflection of one's morals. I don't get it. If i start judging people by that...then i must say i have a bad friends. Friends like Nat, XY - wah...cannot mix cannot mix. but they're great people who look beyond the material more so than me. So that's why i don't understand. It's not as if i say, "i want the money....mummy?never mind her la!"

Besides, the singapore society is really very welfare when it comes to patients like my mum. She's well taken care of. In fact, the nursing homes would not take her in if they realise that the family is abandoning the patients because they're aim is to discharge the patients eventually. They cannot and will not tolerate families who neglect them. I'm just glad that the social worker brought this point out and in addition to that, she told my uncle, "can you respect my professionalism? I have worked here for 7 years and i know families who will abandon their loved ones. This is not that kind of family. Mr. Wong and Claudia care a lot for your sister also."

I think eventually it has to take a 3rd party to tell my uncle off. oh yah. the consultant also shot him back. hahaha...entertaining to watch.

After the meeting, my uncle went to talk to my dad and my dad's bro (let's call him 2bo). I overheard bits of the conversation something about how my uncle feels that none of the money should go to my overseas education and how he wants my father to sign some document stating that he will use every single cent for my mum's care. It was like an arrow through the heart.

What made matters worse is that after that my 2bo told me that my uncle said he loves me a lot. That was when i blew. I told my dad and 2 bo off that if loves me alot, then why would he stop my from going overseas? If he loves me alot, why would he say all those hurting stuff to me? I don't need his love please. I was so upset that i just told them everything.

my 2bo still tell me that maybe i should give up this dream and take it as something not meant to be and if there's another opportunity then grab it. I told him that i'm very sure such an opportunity would not come again. This dream is what is keeping me going all this while and looking forward to life and to ask me to give it up is asking me to give up on life itself.

I was totally depressed for the entire afternoon. Later that evening, nat called in with her results and i told her i didn't really bother about it because i felt that what was most important was to know what u want in life. and nat, i just want you to know that this was the reason why i said that. hahaha...i tot i sounded damn emo over the phone...

anyway, i went to yvonne's house around 7:30pm to talk and her mum was in. So we were re-collecting the stories and her mum gave some great advice and later, my father came up and joined in to the conversation.

We talked and i could see that my dad is drawing strength from aunty kuan and we worked it out. This morning, my dad came and tell me that he's going to tell the relatives off why we're doing this and how they're actions are hurting us. I feel it's good timing and i can't ask for a better opportunity than this.

I just feel that all this could have prevented if people had more trust with one and another know? why can't family members just trust each other?

09:53