CLAUD

Friday, February 13, 2009

V is not for Valentine's, but to vacillate

i'm torn between 2 places this valentine's day....mentally speaking of course. i'm not in a moral dilemma...don't worry...

the annual stress that comes along with Valentine's day is sometimes overwhelming - especially when you are trying to pick cards and flowers for friends and realise that they're all very conspiracally targetted to COUPLES.

Then you see people's msn nick start to change which gives you the notion that love is very much in the air. While my msn nick still stubbornly reads: "In the mood for academic pursuits." I have my reasons ok?

In any case, this afternoon, xinyi and i happen to come across this topic via sms. And i was telling her that from the way things seem (my history and all), it's not difficult for me to imagine myself as an old spinster: rich, an old virgin and alone. of course, my dear was there to comfort me telling me that i'll find a guy at last and there will be 1 for me.

seriously speaking? I cannot see a guy in my near future. Not that i don't want to, but rather, it's quite hard to get hitched in my situation today. I WANT to get hitched, it's a matter of whether the other party will or will not respond.

Then again, maybe yvonne has her merits in saying that we don't need a guy to survive in our lives, afterall, her mum was the prime example. To some extent, my mum too.Ok, except from the housework and occasionally pampering.

You see, after seeing what has happened to my mum, the irony is that i start to really take marriage a little more seriously. Rather, the idea is towards the fact that i must get married. Why? My dad was a good example of how a marriage can be "regardless of sickness and health, till death do us part." A good solid trusting marriage.

Then you take a look and the complications that come along with the family. *rolls eyes*

So that's why i'm swing my opinions - to vacillate - between 2 extremes.

I don't want a boyfriend or husband because everyone has one (or sometimes 2 or more if you get what i mean). I'm talking about the stability and comfort you can seek in another being. The "come back home into wide open arms" feeling...of course, not all marriages are like that. Then again, it's not impossible as well.=) i think guys are put off by the notion of marriage. But the practical me is like this: why date when you don't intend to marry? maybe it's just for the sakes of dating, but that's not my kind of relationship...too messy, too chaotic for my mind...*headache*

This Valentine's day will be another day - another Feb 14th. Like what Oprah said, romance means nothing, and is taken for nothing, if the feelings that go along with, don't come from the depths of a lover's heart. The need to please another and the commitment - now that's what i call romance. It's relationship history + setting.

Aww~

Oh well...another year of wait, another year of patience...maybe if i wait long enough, i may have my wedding bells rung soon!

HAH!

Like real.

LOL....I can kiss my dream of marrying by 24 goodbye

tick tock - tick tock. 20 is coming up real soon...

(psst...while blogging this, the David Tao and Jolin Tsai 今天你要嫁给我 played...it's a sign people)

23:32