CLAUD

Friday, January 23, 2009

This post is not about religion

This post is not about religion. It's about how I've been feeling these past few days and how i think will be like for much longer.

Before my mum, i believe that there is someone up there who oversees everything, who takes care of the rain i get drenched in, who takes care of the intangibles. However, lately, this shroud have been lifted.

I no longer feel that there's anything/one "up there". But i believe that there is a high power. A higher power that makes the previously prideful me, lower down and be humble.

There are circumstances in life that we cannot control. My mother's stroke, Chris's grandma, the guy opposite my mum who had a car accident. I believe that our lives revolves around little things we do day to day. I also believe that we'll never know what these things will mean in our future. It's like weaving a thread but never knowing what the end result is. I think we will only know after we've lived our life.

That's why i look forward to growing up. To see more of life and in that, get more meaning of m existance.

But i do not believe that the human soul can be corrupted. I do not believe that there is a devil, and we're pieces in between 2 great powers. I no longer believe that prayer helps make these feelings better...If prayer is talking to let my emotions out, i can do that with a best friend. If prayer is to get something achieved, then i guess it's a little bit arrogant of me afterall. I have accepted the fact recently that there is nothing in our control.

Men make history, but only within the circumstances that allow them - Marx.

When you take apart pieces of people's lives intimately, you'll realise that the miracle lie in the everyday. I still have my hope and I'm still healthy.

I'm alone everyday, but i'm never lonely =) Thanks to those who were there for me all the time...

i want to say that when i mention that my mum is here with me everywhere. I don't mean her spirit is following ok? That's just freaky and unreal. Instead, i refer to those little things i see, hear and taste that reminds me of her. Hello Kitty, Snoopy, Korean Dramas....the sort. You see, people may die, but they are not dead. They are never truly gone. That is everlasting life because they live in our thoughts forever.

10:28