CLAUD

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Another journey

This morning, i went with my uncle and aunt to the doctor at Mt. E for that "second opinion". it was well - it's well, as i expected it would be.

i can't actually reveal all the details unless you and come ask from me personally. But the gist of it was that the "bleed is big" and "with such enlarged ventricles, recovery will be poor."However, he was pretty certain that my mum doesn't have swelling in the brain but poor circulation and suggested for my mum's doctor to give her gingko tablets to improve the blood circulation. The doctor also needed an MRI and MRA to confirm some facts - like the extent of the brain damage and all.

So..my uncle (as usual) came out from the doc office and told me in hushed voices to "get that MRI. Now time is against us and I'm flying off soon. Go and beg the doctor or nurses if you have to. You must get it. Tell the doctor to give the gingko also...."

I was like - gave him the "you're so stupid look." and said to him that it's not ethical to tell the doc that we want an MRI just like that for a 2nd opinion. It's also not good to tell the doctor to give whatever medicine THIS doctor wants because it's just over-stepping boundaries.

Before i can finish my marvelous speech, my aunt cut me off and told him that, yes, we have to be tactful and she'll find out more from her sis-in-law who is a doctor to find out more on how to approach. Finally, someone with some common sense.

Anyway, i was sorely disappointed later by the same person.

Later that evening when my aunt came, she told me to tell the doc this:

"tell him we want the MRI/MRA for us to see if mummy's condition has improved and to see if her brain is damaged. the gingko tablets maybe can tell the doctors to give her as a supplement? don't need to tell him what it's for actually."

if u were me, tell me how u feel?

Used?

Yes...i felt exactly that way. I'm doing all the legwork based on their words. And if i decide to do the ethical thing which is to tell my mum's doc exactly what happened - and they came to know that my mum's doc didn't do the MRI and give my mum the gingko tablets because i was frank to show him the other doctor's letter - i'll be blamed. AGAIN.

So what i did was to wait for my dad to come, tell him what happened and asked him to call my aunt to sort of "force" her to do our decision. My dad said, "Erm samantha, i'm just received doc XXX's letter from Claudia. We'll give this to Dr. YYY tomorrow morning and let him decide. ok?OK."

Gosh...i wipe my hands off sticky business like this. I have better things to take care of.

Meanwhile, my other aunt just called me yesterday to tell me, "since your mum was such a good person last time, why not consider putting her at home? then u can hire and maid and mama(my mum's mum) can take care of her when you and your daddy not at home mah."

and then today, my grandma was like saying "put your mummy at home la! the maid and i will take care of her. Then you also can help mah....at least she is more comfortable here. Put at nursing home, the nurses there won't care about her. They'll ignore her since she is in coma...treat her like a dead person. If she goes there, she's waiting to die."

o.-"

like the finding doctor after doctor wasn't enough stress already.

My dad is not holding up well and i can sense that anymore pressure from these relatives of mine -he'll just lose it.

i have a feeling so will i.

___________________________________________________________

How many doctors will it take to convince my relatives that it is not that we're not willing to help. It is that there is nothing to help. There is nothing THERE to gain from in the first place. I'm going to tell the nurses and doctors of my mum at the hospital to not release or tell my relatives anything unless my dad or i authorise it.

They have just lost their right be part of this last leg of my mum's life. They have only themselves to blame.

22:48