CLAUD

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Apology (Accepted)

This morning i woke up with a sore throat and flu. Gosh...i dunno if this is a mother-daughter connection, she had coughs and chest infection yesterday...may she "passed it to me". i know it doesn't make sense - but i like to think it that way.

Today day my dad smsed me to tell me not to let my grandma do the housework and carry heavy stuff (like i don't know that already. see what i mean that my dad has no confidence in me?). he also apologised about yesterday and told me that he didn't have enough sleep last night thinking about my mum. I guess he's still not stable yet? Haiz...what to do? He's my dad, i'll have to accept every emo-unstable-hardworking-adaptable bit of him.

Sometimes when i'm angry at my dad, i always ask myself what made such a great woman like my mum marry my dad? She don't deserve him, she deserves someone so much more. But i guess fate has a funny thing of making jokes. Then again, maybe my mum is heaven's gift to my dad.

I don't miss my mum when i'm at the hospital because i know i can go and see her. It's only when you see and realise how helpless you are in the world, and yet know that your mum will no longer be there for you, that you feel like shit.

It's useless for me to say this, but i still want to tell everyone - please treasure the people you love. It may not be your parents, or siblings. But grab and hold on to those people whom you trust and depend on. You never know when they'll leave you forever.

My mum told me to be grateful for everything I have. Her being away for now is the ultimate lesson on how not to take things for granted. Dont, don't take things for granted.

I was reading Tuesdays with Morrie and in it, there was a passage that said Morrie made connections with family and friends. Took time to write letters to distant friends etc. To make relationships that matter and not indulge in other stuff like television, chasing after the latest fashions, the latest gossip.

Love always wins

15:48