CLAUD

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Economical Relationships and Equity

today i heard a story from a friend and it made me think about some issues. the issue of Relationships...pardon the stupid title, my boring brain couldn't come up with a better one.

i'm never comfortable abt the notion of speaking about this topic because i'm afraid that i'll offend some readers here. But take this post as a favour to me because i want to write this down before i forget -and sometime later in the future, i want this to be a reminder.

Unlike some people i know, i cannot weigh all relationships equally. In my (deadly) organised mind where prioritizing is a second-nature, some people are more important to me than others. But it makes me reflect that sometimes, despite the level of care we put into others, we cannot expect others to reciprocate as much as we care for them. We also cannot assume that once a group of people treat us badly, the rest of us will do the same. It makes things grossly unfair don't you think?

Don't people have a chance to prove themselves somewhere along the way?

I know it hurts to invest so much in a friend/relationship but to not have it requited. I also know i've also done this to other people. These days, i try not to do that....i try not to invest so much and i try not to devoid people of the chance as well. Is this right? I don't have the answers to every question.

Then again, when you are so close with someone, other people start to feel distanced by your limited sphere of embrace. I confess, sometimes I'm a little jealous of certain friends because they always seem closer to others than to me. Then i look around at other people and they also feel that same too. Maybe it really is true - 1 more to a couple is just 1 too much more.

The ideal is that we live for ourselves and we answer to no one. Reality never is quite that simple. 1 slow msn conversation, 1 unreplied sms, 1 unreturned call actually translate more than the actual conversation itself.

the other person may feel that you're just not interested - a feeling i get a lot of times frankly speaking. Or someone else you're talking to demands more of your attention and that you're, well, just not interested. Of course, they are other legitimate reasons which another msn, sms or call can cover. I'm stressing on "another" being the operative word.

It may seem that all these "demands" on a relationship may seem "too much". However, you never really can explain how it feels to be ignored by 2 people who are living in their world and moving off without you. Can you blame them? Can you actually blame them? No. You can't because it's their friendship and perhaps you're just not fitted to be in their sphere of embrace. That, however, doesn't mean you're less of a friend to them. Maybe you're just a different friend.

Whatever the hell "different" means.

To put this in an economic perspective:

We all want to satisfy different wants. Yet, we are limited in person as to what we can do. So we look to other people to satisfy those wants. Emotionally sad, we look for certain people we know we can count on. When you want to have a good time, you look for those who can play. In times of trouble, we know immediately who to call and who not to. Money? Just look at your parents. This variety allows us to better live our lives. Crudely speaking, relationships are goods and services which satisfy those wants. Some are consumer goods - goods that fulfil your needs immediately - some are capital goods - goods that build your character and aren't necessarily pleasant.

OF COURSE, i'm not saying that relationships are all reduced to a set of wares. Life's more than that - this is just a simplified explanation to point out 1, perhaps overtly emphasized, portion of relationships.

I am not claiming to dictate the way you foster relationships. I'm just saying that in my views, we need to be a little better to those around us who care about us, although they may not meet our immediate "wants". They are the backbone of your economy - the ordinary work-people who are taken for granted.

It's a comforting fact that I'm fortunate to have people who sometimes care more about me than myself. Unless something happens - because I believe nothing in this world is definite - I'll never let them go.

Oh yes, about the note about nothing is definite? That is a debate saved for another day =)

22:26