i think the concept of choice, is not one that lets you be in control of life, but rather, it is for you increase your chances in life. no one, at any one time, is completely in control. on good days, you're 90% in control, on bad days...well, maybe 9%?

getting a rejection from shaw foundation is harsh enough...it really shows you who owns this world - the top 10% of the more well off in society. the rest of us? well, we can only hope that we are good enough to even start asking them for money.

i hate to ask people for money and yesterday in school, i walked up to 3 strangers to ask them for it. never in my life will i have that kind of courage...but i guess desperate times call for desperate means. all i hope now is that they keep their word and do as they preach.

it kinds of make you think about hey, maybe next time, i should be a philantrophist because i will be a better one.

then again....coming back to reality, out of the many choices i have, which ones are the one i really want AND are also attainable.

right now, it kinda seems like there aren't many.