these few days, i'm hooked on to the band song composed by James Hosay - Persis. hahahaha...it's sad yet beautiful know?

In any case, i can so understand what shangyi is going through. It's like everyone wants to meet up but all you ever want to do is to just stay home and study italian (for my case)...but hey, i guess our friends want to meet us is because they just want to catch up before it's too late know? Then yet again, I'm quite selfish in my way lah. not meeting up is my way of putting singapore behind me. It's because i believe that if you do not hold any more strings, it is easier to embrace what's ahead of you. I'll go to the university talking about my friends in singapore, but i won't go to university talking about singapore.

Please do not mistaken that i care less about those who care about me. It's just through this period that i just want to be alone for a while. just a while...and after that, i'll be MORE THAN HAPPY to meet you all again.

then reading terrena's account about her MOE briefing gave me a even a firmer resolution that rejecting the local award was the right thing to do. despite anqi and amelda saying that i'm nuts, i cannot trade freedom for money. because money cannot buy my freedom. i was just thinking, even if it was also a farce, at least get someone else who can present so that potential candidates are able to convince themselves that perhaps getting into NIE isn't that bad afterall. isn't putting up a front what we're best at? *rolls eyes*

yes, i'm an ungrateful brat. but so are half of the youths here. a recent SPH poll found that given an option, more than half of singaporeans teens would leave. in my humble opinion (not-professional whatsoever), with rising standards of living and education, it won't be long before these people DO leave. 150 000 have already left. That's 1 singaporean in every 26. Means in a typical class, you'll have at least one classmate who is already overseas. 3.75% of the population.

If i air my views about how singapore will be like 15 years from now, i'm afraid that i might be sued so penniless, i can't even afford underwear. i may be pessimistic and i may be wrong. so was malthus. but i guess what he predicted using his model is not inaccurate, though it might not be most accurate.

don't be mistaken, i'm a patriot in a myriad of ways. I'd never like more than to be proven wrong and for someone to tell me - in proof - that what i think is just my oversight. from what i see around me, it'll take alot of persuasion and alot of hard-sell. Remember people, what you see today was built 40 years ago. rising oil prices, food prices, housing prices and ERP road gantries (without any alternative roads) is the future. increasing age limit for retirement, increasing population densitiy, increasingly limited opportunities and diminishing returns is what we will all face from now on. Is that the future you are looking for?

then again, the flip-side is that we will all face this regardless where we go. the issue is how well we can cope with it. for sustainable environment, netherlands gave every household a bike and built bike-ways for cyclists. They narrowed roads and increased the effiency of public transport. We have none of the above save for the efficient public transport. green houses? we don't even recycle printing paper, or sort our trash like the japanese. maybe these things take time. maybe we'll see it in the near future. just not now i guess?

one can always be too comfortable when someone else takes care of you all the time. i know the feeling very well. look around you today - those are the people who will be taking care of your welfare in the future. now turn back and tell me, how good do you feel about that?