people who know me, understand that their friend have an insatiable thirst for planning. somehow i feel that it can irritate the hell out of some of my friends from my merticulous planning.

but today, i planned not to plan. basically, i just feigned sickness and stayed at home. taking afternoon irregular naps and eating oily food. basically, heck-caring.

like seriously, i'm glad that i made a vow never to work for money. working for money is so meaningless and for the shit that i get from that bitch. i'm lucky to say that at least i get to know that working for money is meaningless at this early a stage.

they say work what you love and study what you're passionate in.

sometimes reality can be cruel. and life itself makes you bitter - but like my OB lecturer said, don't get people like that make you bitter. you have to stay on top of them and move on wiht life.

yeah, i'll move on, after 25th of April. then that bitch can kiss my ass goodbye for good.

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recently, i find that people can be so superficial. it made me revisit the idea of friends. what are they talking behind your backs?

it kinda filled me life with paranoia now. (not that i'm not paranoid before) 10 years down the road, what kind of life will i know?

if life is going to be like that - emptiness with fake smiles and even fak-er personalities - then i rather not live long.

I don't want to talk to people these days and i make lousy company.

i understand that i keep complaining about that bitch that some are finding it sick.

why complain when you can just walk away?

true. i want to walk away. but i also don't want to leave a horrible impression. i don't want to prove that bitch right.

thank god this ordeal is going to be over soon.

after that , i believe that i'll be a happier person. next week is one more week and it's over.

for now, just let me be sick okay?

i don't want to face anyone except my family - somehow i'm glad they'll always be with me.

in addition to that - it concretised the idea of marriage. family is forever.

period.