is that really true?

happiness is everything? being happy will make my life wholesome.

what do i strive from being happy? to live life with a smile everyday and with laughter in my ears.

but i cannot help but bring myself to question my beliefs now. what is being happy? my happiness will somehow breach into someone else's pain. what i do in making myself happy may bring unhappiness to others.

then why do i feel a sense of regret when i feel happy? what is making me NOT happy?

i guess the fact that being happy only counts when others are also happy. in a manner of speaking, you can only be happy when you make others happy.

when being happy is a priority, then wouldn't we be a very selfish race? maybe that is why buddhism stresses on compassion - not happiness.

to be compassionate is to understand what the others are suffering about and to tune into their suffering. a selfless act that many would not be willing to do.

why? why put myself in other people's shoes when i can always be happy on my own?

do you truly feel happy when others around you are not? hardly.

i cannot be happy when i sense that someone is having a bad day and i'm sure many of us feel that way too.

happiness-sadness

pleasure-pain

peace-conflict.

in this world of opposites, we cannot live on and not the other. we cannot run away and avoid the other side of the spectrum.

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i'm still looking at the angle of living life to the fullest. being happy AND being sad. knowing pleasure AND pain. more importantly, to go through conflict to reach peace.

Peace is more difficult to attain than happiness. you can feel happy when someone laughs with you. can you find peace by simply laughing?

Attaining peace is a jouney - one that is only worth it when you are ready to give up everything else.