hey hey......the unsettling feeling is gone!gone for how long, i don't really know....anyway, my sign is really melancholic and bends alot to the negative side, so perhaps i should live with it.

i remembered i wanted to say something but can't seem to recall what it was...

hahahaha....finally the september holidays are here and there's nothing better than to relax the pace a little and settle in better in case things get heated up again.

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there are some people who do not forgive and forget, and there are some people who find it difficult to overcome an emotional wall...for example, when there's conflicts between friends, and both parties are in the "fuming stage" sometimes, people around them find it difficult to step into the situation. and yes, it's better not to....

hahahaha, but people like me very kpo one lor, cannot stand the suspense de..that's why i watch movies and shows knowing and anticipating what will happen next and mostly it's proven to be correct.

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many times, i find it hard to connect to the people around me. the problem is not really with a single person but rather the nature of things bah. alittle on my side, and a little on theirs. maybe that's why they say relationships are not easy to maintain and it's even harder to keep the fire burning.

it's comforting to note that everyone have a few good friends to lean on in bad times and right now, there are some things that they allowed me to understand why i'm feeling this way.

the reason why feeling guilty for no reason, really no reason at all, is perhaps it's a reflection of what others' are feeling.....since last time, i know that i'm quite reflective of people's emotions where when they feel a certain way, then it somehow gets to me also. so it helps me some ways but right now, in this particular situation, it's not benefitting.

reflective is not the same as receptive....it's hard to explain. maybe the closes definition would be the analogy of the echo. how loud you shout returns at almost the same volume. how you treat these kinda of people, will be reflected in how they treat you in return....at least that is what is written in vonk's book "the astrology bible"...hahaha it has everything in it man

virgorans, capricorns, tarus and cancers should just stop worrying and emo-ing (negative polarity)

like how snape practises occlumency....i should know when to block out "background radiation" and distinguish which "radiation" really comes from me. it's like people's thoughts mixing with your own such that you cannot differentiate your thoughts from other people's. it's even more frustrating when you don't have the full picture of things and start assuming your own conclusions.

so maybe in the first place, i don't actually feel this way. but because of my shadow and inner insecurities, i draw up conclusions that don't exist in the first place. it's true - people's words can be very misunderstood, whether it's written or spoken. the person who said it may have no intention but the person at the receiving end may feel the impact of his words - not because the person who delivers them intends to initiate any harm, but rather the recepient's inner shadow clouds some sort of judgement that overlooks certain aspects. that i think, is how misunderstandings occur.

that's why the most innocent of sentences may lead to the most grave of misunderstandings. and maybe that is also why people can rub each other the wrong way. so maybe after knowing all those, close friends know how to communicate better because they know how to say and know what to avoid. there are always stages. Explore, Communicate, Bondage and Commitment. it depends on how we pass the stages, for some, the second stage may take longer...