CLAUD

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

oFF beat

erm......well, erm.....hahaha
can't seem to start properly.......*bleahz*

okay, let's see......i'm not having the typical rush of adrenaline from sitting for examinations and these days it's really really tiring reading the same old things over and over again. like even gp looks more interesting because every examination is different and you can't really anticipate anything.

but let's get a grip.....geog econs and math is pretty constant. so much that i'm sick of it....call it the law of diminishing returns bah, i've had enough. go to hell with all the useless facts, i just want to learn what i want to learn.
people keep telling me it's "only going to be a few more months"....度日如年, a day seems like forever. the feeling of being caught in the cycle of school-revision-exam is wearing me out.at this rate, i doubt i'll make it for a's. but have to make it for a's

suddenly, it came as a revelation that perhaps this prelims is not as important as it seems. it really becomes quite clear what this prelims is about personally.
although i promised myself that i'll get the results so that i can apply for a conditional offer at UoM, but it seems that maybe it's better to wait and see and not hurry things along. if you cannot do it, there's no point forcing.anyway, having one more year can buy me some time to earn money.....

ironic? i thought so too.

people keep telling me that no matter how bad i do for geog, i'll still be the top....it's damn stressful being the first because people form some sort of personal expectation of you. like you have to know every single thing and they get appalled if you don't know certain concepts. if you've never been there, you really can't judge because it's really really really really difficult to study and push yourself further when you're reaching the peak - the end is the only way downhill.so please tell me what are the advantages?

i know i haven't reached my peak in geog yet....but to everybody, it seemed like i do, afterall, being the top student means that you've gotta be good right?
in reality, it's not the case......for one, i don't know every case-study by heart(i pretty sure aisha couldn't) and i don't know how to explain every economic term(but i bet aminah can)....i probably can't recite "gains from trade" as well as some of you. so the incidence that i do well despite the fact that others like delia or kemp are actually better than me, is really coincidence.....

however, i'm humbled at the fact that people do ask me things...it gives me humility because they trust me.and trust is so hard to earn nowadays....in addition to the fact, (as a virgo) i'm glad that i can give them some light to the hopelessness they see.no matter how seemingly easy the question, it's really satisfying to be able to help them, no matter friend or foe, and know that you've done your bit....it makes people feel less selfish and suddenly, you realise that is actually very keen to learn. *i wished that i could help those who needed them, and someone answered my prayers*

hahahaha vonk!keep those econs questions coming.....i'll be happy to answer them anytime (except 10pm onwards because your best friend would most probably be answering them in her dreams....heez)-thanks loads for helping me out with geog too!if i score well for geog this time, you'll be the one i thank first(and your fellow geog-er friend too)!

perhaps the only positive being recognized as good, is that you can help people because they trust you....and by clearing up some concepts and terms together, i learn too (okay, it's cliche, but it really is that way - cliched for a reason)
"you can be a top student too!"

more aptly put, you can also excel in your area of study, don't succumb to putting expectations of yourself onto other people so that they can realise them for you. there are opportunities that will only come once and even if you can't go back to the beginning to change how you've started, remember that you can always look forward and change the ending you want for yourself.

(it's high time i brushed up on chem)

18:46