i have come to terms with somethings and decided what's best....

it's true when you hit a realisation point, where things cannot go any further because it's just the way things are.....we'll all learn to move on....i'm sorry, but there's no choice but to move on.

what can we actually do? there's basically nothing much really.....the priorities now is to make this year smooth out properly when it's already so rough.

i kind of like already come to accept that some things can never be.....not many want to admit the fact that some people are more important to us than others.....and some people need more attention than others...because we are all very very different. it's a sad feeling to come to understand that we do not fit like a jigsaw puzzle because all of us have different priorities.

there's always this constant feeling that i don't fit into the world. like a current going against everything i believe.....but yet, i don't find it difficult to swim with other people....i swim with them, not against them....not constantly holding myself in check.it's already tiring enough, and this year has made it more so.

can we be slightly selfish and reckless to just pursue what our hearts tell us to do. because like many many writers have put across - your heart knows you better than you do. sometimes when reality is like this, all there is left to do is to accept it. i'm happy now, like at peace after i've accepted the fact that things don't always have to go your way.

maybe this is what it means by give and take. you take some, you give some and at the end of the day, you decide, whether you like it or not, that some things are not meant to be. and by insisting makes all the differences even more different, and the only similarity that remains is the struggle to try to be the same...that would probably end up in misery and even for my love of risks, it is one road i am not willing to take.

if by cutting my hair makes me think differently, then so be it......i want to be me, not what the school, the band, my classmates perceive me to be. right now, there's only one goal in my mind....will you care to join me? if your answer is not a direct yes, then your heart has already decided that perhaps the things you hold most dear to heart is different. and there's no one to blame for it.....after all the tears and guiltiness, i've already planned to let go....time waits for no man...

seize the day