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haiz....today got back chem paper and was totally demoralised....like totally....then after going through the mcq questions even more demoralised.like you know the answers to the questions but like why didn't you think of it before?

oh wellz.....it seems that everybody has gotten a study partner....heard nat asked van today, maybe i'm not suitable bah....haiz, everybody got their own needs mah....can't expect people want to study together with the same people also.

i really want to ace my a'levels and from the looks of it, it's further than i thought it would be. so maybe i should just stop being complacent and start to be hardworking and serious about stuff. afterall, your own grades that matter. in other words you are responsible for your own grades....

then the irony is that when you work hard, people look at you like some sort of freak. i can so predict that if i work hard, the class will probably think i'm possessed and give me weird looks. that's what i don't want. like instead of giving ppl weird looks, why can't you just work hard together? it's not the issue of being given the weird look, but more of the sense of not belonging anymore. like since you're studying on your own, giving teachers extra prelim papers to mark keep asking questions etc etc, so you're no more part of us.

part jealousy? part envy? i feel that sometimes, but that makes it even more challenging and doesn't it make you want to improve? instead of having all that negativity, maybe you can put it more positive?

so from now on, i know it's not worth the friendship to make things this way. but if in the process that i am working harder, don't make it sound like it's my fault for working so hard. because from the start of the year, i've already decided what i wanted, and since recently the odds are stacked even higher, there's no loss if i even try to out-do myself.

have you ever got the feeling that you're so desperate and there's not other option that you have to take a chance? every day of year 2 this feeling has been in me......every day every day....if i don't score for A's this year - 2007, i may never have a 2nd chance. and frankly speaking, our education system has given us more than enough 2nd chances.....and maybe because i'm not used to NOT having a second chance, that's why i'm becoming rather desperate.

this block test has done nothing to pull me up...and i still have a long way to go. so this is what i'm going to do.

it's about time that i pull the gear up, because frankly like what mr lim said, i'm at 50%, and to let that potential go to waste makes it very unworthwhile....so maybe just for the once in my life, i'm giving my 100% for exams....

Prelim将不会是一个挫折而是成功的第一步。block test不会是一个失望而是一种推动力。