i'm kinda troubled when i know other teachers know about me.

like, i've let them down or something. now recalling the records from primary school, there was this analysis that the school let us take to se what kind of learning attitudes we have. and there was this prominent line that says i like to impress teachers, but ultimately don't like too much of a limelight.

how true....and things haven't changed since primary 4 it seems.

some of you know, how much the workload i'm carrying, upp, band, ocip, national weather studies, house exco - and from previous posts how much i want to take h3

now to take a step back and think....am i really taking too much roles?

moreover, "some teachers think that i'm taking on too much roles"....

it really scares me that teachers, from the science department to the pe department knows that. it also makes one wonder, what other things have they said?

that claudia, "is trying to be a somebody but apparently isn't achieving it. somemore neglected her studies because of it."?

mortifying isn't it?

so i'm not impressing my teachers, but rather they are sniffing at my attitude towards learning.

then it becomes an ironic situation. on one hand they want well-rounded students (which is what i want to become) and the another hand they say that some students are taking on too many roles.

please lah....what you want us poor students to do? when yuo say be a council is good for your grad cert, then what about the traditonal A-A-A system?

seriously, the situation i'm in now, is literally a double-back. you land up in the same place where you started from.

Sometimes, when you see others fail, it motivates you to be better. to prove to him/her that you can be better than them. Yes, you may say that that's aimless....but one fail to consider that emotions run deep.

Taking on so many activities or "roles" is a challenge to me. To prove to someone, that i'm just as capable, if not more capable then he previously was. In another way of speaking, i'm competing with a ghost. Don't overwhelm me with comments on what i'm doing shouldn't be.

I've laid out my schedule....5 "roles" didn't take up so much of my time....if you think really carefully and thoroughly, i'm really just having one activity after another....nothing is really compromised. i turn up for as many facilitations as band meetings. i don't skip more than 2 lessons of upp(some who have half the amount of activities i have, don't even come as much as i do) and i do my duties as a house exco....if that isn't what those who are skeptic to be convinced, then i have nothing more to say. because i have confidence that i've not compromised my schoolwork with my commitments. Don't-just don't pit others against me. YOU shouldn't pit anyone and generalise them. everyone have their own strengths. and i believe i'm about to discover mine.

so, understand from my point of view. i like to be pushed to the extreme. sometimes, it takes plenty of pressure to mold the perfect sword. the only worry i have is that i don't regret my choices.

Indeed

"I will not let schooling interfere with my Education." - Mark Twain