Yesterday was heaven, some people might not believe me after reading this but seriously.....i'd like to escape mentally and spiritually rather than physically.

After geograhpy exams...it didn't felt like the tension released. instead, the dread of next week seems so much more real than the globalisation issues mentioned not more than 2hr 15 ago.

I wanted so much to escape....to where? with whom?

so seems like everyone's got plans, plus i have to deliver my theory papers(4 of them mind you) to her so that i can get the ghastly results on sun....

then the day before i decided that i'll got nlb....the national library and do research what i love.

only recently, am i feeling more strongly about writing. all the while, my passions are divided between music and words....not literature, strangely - literature wasn't my strong subject.

i went to the library to only find a handful of useful books, plenty interesting, but none helpful. it wasn't really anyone's fault...i was too lazy to go to the esplanade.

really, i didn't have anything in mind to start on anyway, just wanted a big picture of what writing is....playwright really is rather....many people would tell me to take literature - now, i wish i would. but somehow studying someone's work always cloud my own writing.

i seriously don't want to sound arrogant here, because i still find that my writing, of any kind, still requires some polishing, maturing and publishing.

hah!if GP marks could reflect how well my writing is, then to hell with it.

on a certain day, i was simply grateful for beryl giving her most honest comments about my GP essay....some expressions i dreamed up of simply couldn't make it to the mark.

maybe it's my impatience to please.....

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i had a lady's night that evening....haha, at first, i was skeptical about going out with 3 other middle-aged ladies. nope, they weren't ordinary ladies either.

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meanwhile, aftering borrowing a book for comfort reading, i went to the bras brasah complex. such a place just oozing of books. of course, it used to be mush more.....

it's a been long since i stepped into the building - then i thought i'd get a present for minyi personally....haha, personal persents are sso much more sincere, but sometimes monetary funds just don't allow for that kind of luxury.

so anyway, wanted to get a chinese stamp with her name engraved on it. those really chinese-looking stamps they use in imperial times or for calligraphers to mark their names? i just thought that has so muc meaning because it's more than a stone....

i duno if she'll like it, but after acquiring the price. it's like roughtly $48 with the name? hahaha...sorry minyi

but seriously, after that i detoured back to look at some bookstores and spotted Popular.

that's when it irked me slightly.

like what the hell is popular doing there?

strange question you might say, since bras brasah sells books and book-related stuff, shouldn't it be sensible that popular is there?

yes, economically-speaking....

but for some who haven't been to bras brasah, or have been too pre-occupied in your lover's arms to notice, that most of the shops selling the type of books are run-down, off-the-shelf. i found a Uni text from 1996 photocopied from the original and binded (in the old style) selling for 18bucks? hey, it's priceless because of the handsribbled notes at the side. but nevertheless, i was pressing for time....

so as i was saying, having Popular there seems almost too avant-garde. too vulgar for me....it seems to be telling me, "I'm new, i'm red and i'm big...come fight with me if you can. Hah! I even have air-con and carpet...you leh?"

maybe it's my over-reactive mind working an imagination. seriously, when you take a look at owners-who are almost as old as some of the books they sell, and then look at popular with their equally under-paid young part-time workers, you cannot help but ball your fist and telling Popular to *censored* off.

Perhaps it's because of making a name for themselves that's whyy they're based there....maybe because it's BRAS BRASAH - a place for books, so Popular, a home-grown brand has every right to be there.....

reality is a cruel thing - just like the exams we take twice every year.

to me: bras brasah is like a warehouse filled with cheap books, the rich mature smell of age and most importantly - it's like no one but you ever stepped there before.

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then i wondered, if yvonne would come out alone for once. to just suck in the senses of being not in town, but in places you love. you know we both love books. perhaps we prefer to buy them at different places.

sometimes second-hand look, the USED look seemed so much more appealing than a fresh book. so new, yet again, so FRESH - so impersonal.

when i touch a new book, it's like caressing a priceless diamond. some books, those which i'd already know the ending. the tragic ending beneath and between every spine.

but the idea of a used book, the smell of the it's previous owner, or the dog-eared pages give me more than just the story line. you can tell a book by it's cover.

the more used it is, the more interesting it will be. because books have a seduction of a irrestible lady, you go back wanting more. everytime you read, it's different.

Now do you understand why i choose to escape to the Gold rush perioud of america, or the busy streets in New york, or the spices in Calcutta.....so many places i can go.

perhaps i'm just a dreamer, a romantic

funny i say that because being a virgo also means i'm pragmatic.

hahahaha.....a conflict of interest.

but anyway, it's was a lovely day.

if it might seem cliche - i felt like i'm a canary being released from a cage.

i don't know when will be the next time.

the feel of extreme freedom, of extreme creativity, of ever-present inspiration.

writers inspire writers in many ways than one.

Who will we inspire today? (that sounds like a bloody advertisement)

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grace: there are more records of our life than just photographs. Sometimes, with a little imagination and persuasion, we can immortalise ourselves in the crumpled pages, with us as the actor, instead of the observer. somehow, there seems to be much more interesting isn't it?